In these austere times, despite moments of relief and joy for many, it is very hard to remain positive and act progressively. It is all too easy to retreat into a reactive bubble and just live from day to day, doing only that which is absolutely necessary to keep your head above water. Creativity flounders, working relationships are put under huge strain and leadership can descend into the emaciated hell of just following procedures.
One thing that remains though, despite all this gloom, is humour. Our ability to take a wry slant on the world and grimly laugh at the situation can be majestic. Humour is the warmth that keeps our home fires burning - or at least the embers glowing, ready to spark into flame when more fuel is found. Humour can make even the coldest places seem warmer and more hopeful.
Some years ago, I made a point of collecting a few examples of workplace humour which I share below. I do this for several reasons. Firstly I hope the statements below make you laugh and even if it is only through gritted teeth, I hope the small shot of endorphins helps. Secondly, if you come across any other examples that you would like to share please do so - you can add a comment below or email me. And thirdly, I hope this small smattering of humour helps you stay in touch with your ambitions and assists you in keeping on keeping on in these difficult times.
In one senior police managers office, I came across this simple statement, pinned up on his notice board:
The only difference between this place and the Titanic is that they, at least, had a band.
Pinned up on a general notice board of a financial services company I once worked with, I saw:
The Management regrets that due to the current economic climate, it has been necessary to make certain economies. Therefore the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off until further notice.
In a well known consumer campaigning organisation that I once did some work with, the following posters sprang up overnight like a blanket of bluebells:
Meetings: the practical alternative to work
- Are you lonely...?
- Do you work on your own...?
- Do you hate having to make decisions...?
Then hold a meeting!
- You can get to see other people, sleep in peace, off-load decisions, feel important and impress your colleagues.
And then in another organisation, I saw this:
The Curse of the Pyramid
I will never forget the time when we entered the final chamber of the biggest pyramid. The endless variety of furnishings, the sense of absolute stillness... of action long ago abandoned, the incomprehensible symbols written for no living person to read...
And I turned to my companion and said "it's just like head office really, isn't it?" But he disagreed as he couldn't see a coffee machine.
(For 'head office' insert your own suitable place, of course!)
And finally, I would offer you this to indicate that I can laugh at myself as well:
The Consultants Promise
- We may not succeed in answering all of your questions.
- Indeed you may feel that we have not answered any of them.
- Nonetheless, you can be assured that the answers we do give will only serve to raise a whole new set of questions
- And so, in some ways, you may feel as confused as ever.
- However, we promise, that you will be confused on a much higher level about far more important things.
Naturally, I would like to thank all the people who penned or posted these pieces of humour. I don't know their names, I am afraid, but I am most grateful to them.
And like I say, if you know of any more items that made you laugh, do please share them. Thanks.
Original blog post: http://jonharveyassociates.blogspot.com/2010/12/humour-in-cold-climate.html
Well, it takes a while for the brain to warm up again but what about that old favourite: “The Manager’s indecision is final”. A while ago, I came across one of those Internet polls on the subject of strap lines for your company. The winner was “Eagles soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines”. My own favourite was “Yesterday’s technology tomorrow”.More of an anecdote:Some years ago, I was catching a flight from Heathrow to Milan. There was a baggage handlers' dispute at Heathrow and they’d imposed a work to rule and all flights were being delayed. I was flying on Alitalia and an Alitalia representative came into the lounge to explain to the Italian passengers what was happening. He said that there was a kind of strike but that instead of stopping work, they were continuing to work but applying all the rules. And you know what happens when you apply all the rules – nothing gets done, does it? All the Italian passengers nodded in agreement.
ReplyDeleteMy Favourite is:The beatings will only stop when morale improves.
ReplyDeleteThanks Glenn and Gerry - you made me smile!
ReplyDeleteExcellent stuff, here.It has cheered me tremendously folks!My favourite was the Civil Servant, who was requiring to hold information on certain files. After much thought about the easiest way to do this, he introduced a "yellow dot" system.He explained to his junior that he was undertaking a piece of work and required to hold all files marked this way. It was important to keep such files to one side, and not to put them in the out tray as usual.The junior said he had understood, and that day, all files with yellow dots were duly accounted for.The next day, the junior was observed putting the yellow dotted files in the out tray. He was asked if he had not remembered the rules. He dismissively answered:"Oh, yes! But that was yesterday!"
ReplyDeleteOne of my favourites is:"The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression."Bob, Leicester
ReplyDeleteThanks for this Guys....Thought I should join in with my favourite.."Everyone brings joy to this office.Some when they enter and others when they leave" Happy New Year to you all when it comes
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda, Bob & CharlieHappy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but as the year draws to an end, I remembered this story:A man in a hot air balloon is lost. He sees a man on the ground and reduces height to speak to him."Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?""You're in a hot air balloon hovering thirty feet above this field," comes the reply."You must work in IT support," says the balloonist."I do," says the man, "How did you know?""Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone.""You must be in management," says the man."I am," says the balloonist, "How did you know?""Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault." Happy New Year.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gerry! Heard it before - but still makes me laugh!And I tweeted your 'Eagles soar...' one below yesterday to John Rentoul - political columnist from Independent on Sunday. He retweeted it. (Hope that was OK with you) It was in response to an earlier tweet from him where he said:@JohnRentoul Hierarchy: where "everyone has their face toward the CEO and their ass toward the customer" - Jack Welch via @nikluac http://bit.ly/eMjoa3
ReplyDeleteJon, that's fine by me - but of course I didn't originate it.
ReplyDeleteCheers Gerry - I understand that - but you were my source!
ReplyDeleteJon, made me chuckle and reminded me of:-The ConsultantA shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure." The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the Internet where he called up a surveillance satellite system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep." "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?" "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know anything about my business. Now give me back my dog." “If you ask a consultant the time…they’ll steal your watch off you….tell you the time….and then sell it back to you!”
ReplyDeleteThanks Kevin.Not that I want this thread to turn into jokes about consultants - there is the old one that we are like rhinos... we have thick skins and we charge a lot...!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year Folks! Really cheered me up. My offering is topical too:-We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.We have done so much for so long with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.Old, but good.......
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan - that is great!
ReplyDeleteJust received this anonymous addition through my email - thought I would share here: Hi Jon, happy new year.Some great lines on the COP site. One I like is the punning public service motto:(you can substitute the name - it is the motto that is the important bit)Westmonster City Council: Serves You Right!
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